MY STORY: NOT GIVING UP

I didn’t suffer like my family did to come to the U.S. But like my mom, I’m working for my daughter.

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Editor’s note: Lendy Cerna Carias is an aide at Telamon Head Start, an early education and family support program in Siler City. She’s also a part of the SEJ (Southeastern Jurisdiction) of MARCHA, an advocacy organization that seeks to make Hispanic voices heard inside and outside of the Methodist Church. A large part of their work goes toward supporting immigrants. This piece is the first in a series of Latinx community spotlights for La Voz de Chatham, a project supported by a Facebook Journalism Grant to the News + Record.

My name is Lendy A. Cerna Carias. I am 26 years old. I was born in Guatemala on October 4, 1993. My mom moved to the U.S. in 1994. It was extremely difficult for her because she left me with her sister, which was hard for both of us. I had to learn to live my life without my mom. My mother decided to leave because she wanted a better life for me. She wanted to provide me with the things she could not afford during my first year of life.

It took my mother almost two months to get to the United States. She had to walk from Guatemala to the Arizona border. She walked two days in the desert without any food or water. The only thing she ate was peanut butter crackers. She told me she had to drink water from a puddle of muddy water, and it was disgusting because the water was stinky and smelled like a “skunk.”

My mother swam across a river along the border called “Bravo.” After she made it to the border, she got into a big truck that was transporting a lot of people and rode with 30 men, women and children. My mom said it was difficult to breathe, but they made it to Arizona. After that, they were inside an abandoned house where they hid for weeks until it was safe. She was transferred into a van with the rest of the men, women and children. They rode for five days, and as they traveled, they stopped in each state to drop people off. My mother, who was the last to leave, was dropped off in Greensboro, and my dad picked her up.

Once my mother made it to North Carolina, she called me every day. My mother would send me all kinds of “goodies” such as clothes, toys, chocolates and money. My mother wanted to let me know she had not forgotten about me and that she wanted to make me happy. She worked hard to send me those things, and I appreciated everything she did for me.

When I was a toddler, I grew up with my aunt’s daughters. I used to hear them calling my aunt “mom,” and so I would do it, too. When I lived with my aunt, she would always make sure I was happy. My aunt would do more for me than her children because she felt sorry for me since I was alone. Growing up was hard. Every time there was an activity going on at my school, I was sad because I would look around and see all the parents at the school supporting their children while I did not have a mother or father to show up for me. The only support I had from my mother was money. She would send me money for school expenses and personal needs.

In Guatemala, you have to pay to go to school. If you cannot afford school expenses, you simply do not get an education. This is why many parents migrate with their children to the United States. They want to provide a better life for their children and families. In the United States, there are more opportunities and more jobs. This is why I cherish the education that I received here and the job opportunities that I have been given. People who migrate do not just move to the United States because they want to; they do it because they want a better future for their children.

My grandmother became a single parent of 10 kids when my grandfather committed suicide. My mother started working when she was 10 years old to support my grandmother and siblings. When my mother had me, she realized that she wanted a better life for me, which is why she decided to move to the United States when I was 1. Some people do not realize how hard it can be to leave your loved ones behind and not know if you will ever see them again. A lot of people lose their lives trying to come to this country.

Immigrants sacrifice a lot to try to give their families a better quality of life. A perfect example: in June of 2019, the border patrol found the lifeless bodies of a Salvadoran father and his daughter in the Rio Grande river. They had drowned as they attempted to cross the river into Texas. Father and child were embracing each other in the water. They died terrified of losing each other.

My mother wanted to bring me the same way, but due to the dangers she encountered in migrating, my parents decided to apply for my residency. It took me years to finally be with them again, but I did not suffer like my mother and other immigrants did. In May 2011, my parents finally brought me to the United States. I experienced what flying in an airplane felt like for the first time; I was so scared thinking that I was so many miles off the ground and that I would experience a whole different world in the United States. It was hard for me to get used to a new life. I had to start all over again — starting with learning the language, culture, different foods, laws, education, environment and even siblings. Everything was different compared to my home culture.

The most difficult part for me was getting used to going to school and learning how to live with my new family. My siblings were not used to me being around; there were a lot of differences between us. We were raised by different people and grew up in different cultures. We had to learn to understand and live with each other. I had a lot of things to get used to.

When summer was coming to an end, my mother encouraged me to enroll in high school. I was very scared of starting school because I did not know what to expect. I wanted to just work instead, but my mother had different plans for me. I enrolled in ESL classes while attending high school, and after two years, I received my high school diploma.

In July 2013, I left my parents’ house and moved in with my boyfriend, who is now my husband. We started a family. In May 2014, my life changed: I became the mother of a beautiful little girl. I was full of mixed emotions. In 2017, I worked for Duke Energy in Charlotte. I used to drive for two hours in the morning and two hours in the afternoon. I was a scaffold builder, and I would also translate for coworkers. At that moment, I thought money was everything. I thought all I wanted was to be able to give my daughter a better life, but I was wrong. I was very close to losing my family because I would not spend time with them. Issues arose due to my lack of attention. I was always too tired to spend quality time with my family or take care of my daily responsibilities because I worked all seven days of the week for long hours.

In January of 2019, I started working at Telamon Head Start as a center aide, and everything changed. I realized that it’s not all about money; it’s about spending time with my family and doing something that I enjoy. I may not make a lot of money, but I love coming to work every morning, seeing all those little smiling faces and knowing that I am impacting lives.

My goal is to be an example for my family. I want to show them that hard work pays off — that you should never give up on your dreams and keep pushing because one day you will accomplish them. I have a lot of people pushing me to go back to school and further my education. My daughter is my biggest motivation, and I want to be a good role model for her. One day I hope to hear her say, “I want to be just like my mommy,” just like what I say about my mother.