The other day, I listened to a late 2019 podcast episode on preparing for the new year. I wanted to warn the podcasters about how irrelevant their advice would play out in 2020.
Many of us spend the final few days reflecting on the past year and making resolutions for the next one. Then, we spend the first few days of the next year trying to carry out those resolutions before realizing that we’re still the exact same people who left last year behind.
According to a survey of around 1,000 adults, three in 10 Americans planned to make New Year’s resolutions for 2020. So with that knowledge in mind, here are five common New Year’s resolutions from 2020 that I adapted for 2021. You can look back on this in a year or so and let me know if any of them worked out for you.
1. If you want to exercise more, try this: Remember that running app with audio of zombies chasing you? Have a friend record themselves screaming your worst fears for the designated time that you want to exercise. The farther you run, the sooner it ends. Unless you didn’t run in a loop and now you have to walk back to the soothing sounds of true crime podcasts.
2. If you want to make new friends, try this: Tie a note to a balloon and set it soaring into the air. Try not to think about the balloon getting caught in a tree or being swallowed by an unassuming animal. On second thought, maybe just stick the note on your new neighbor’s door with a slightly passive aggressive hint to bag up their trash instead of leaving it all over your sidewalk. That should help you make friends.
3. If you want to save money, try this: One restaurant I worked at taunted new employees by freezing anything they left at work in a block of ice. For me, this was my extra work shirt that I desperately needed the next day. If you try this with a credit card, I guarantee that chopping it out of the ice will stop you from buying a second blender.
4. If you want to travel more, try this: Travel will stay wonky for at least the beginning of 2021. But did you know that the Random Street View web page lets you view nearly any place in the world? I virtually traveled to the side of the road in Texas and a parking lot in Colorado. Who knows? Maybe you’ll solve a mystery or see your spouse’s secret lover walking outside your house.
5. If you want to learn a new skill, try this: Sure, you could figure out how to make a sourdough starter or repair a leaky faucet, but how about finishing a project from last year’s resolutions? You could finish painting your bathroom. You could water your dead plants. You could hang up Christmas lights and conveniently forget what month it is. Anything is possible!
In all seriousness, New Year’s resolutions are not all they’re cracked up to be. And it’s OK if just the thought of predicting 2021 seems overwhelming.
Just take it one day at a time, and have a Happy New Year!
Rachel Horowitz resides in Chatham County and works in Pittsboro. She is a graduate of UNC-Chapel Hill’s Hussman School of Journalism and Media and can be reached at millennialmusings.nc@gmail.com.
