Editor’s note: Dave and Dot Walker of Chatham County celebrated their 75th anniversary on January 19th. Bob Wachs, the News + Record’s retired managing editor, visited the couple at their home in northern Chatham to share their story in honor of Valentine’s Day.
PITTSBORO — For Chatham County’s Dave and Dot Walker, it wasn’t exactly love at first sight.
But when love did strike, it was obviously made to last — 75 years of marriage and counting.
Their first meeting didn’t suggest a lasting marriage to follow, at least not to Dot. Dave and his family lived in one side of a duplex in Wilkinsburg Township, in the suburbs of Pittsburgh. Dot’s aunt lived in the other. Dave developed an early interest in Dot’s cousin, but that relationship fizzled.
A day after their break-up, Dot and her mother came from their home in nearby Plum Township to visit Dot’s aunt. That’s when Cupid’s arrow struck.
“I had heard a lot about Dot,” Dave remembers, “and had seen a picture of her once. That day, I was walking up the street and saw Dot and her mother. And I know this is the old saying, but I got the feeling right then: I’m going to marry that girl.”
Dot wasn’t so sure. She was wary of her cousin’s former boyfriend before even meeting him.
“I talked with my cousin about him and when I saw him, I said to my mother, ‘See that fellow? He’s the fellow who went with Helen. She said he had a big ego.”
Dot’s mom scolded her, saying: “You don’t know that.”
You shouldn’t say things about him, her mom continued, “until you know it.”
As the two debated the issue — unbeknownst to him — Dave acted on his instinct.
“I just went into her aunt’s house,” he recalled, “and asked her right then and there if she wanted to go out on a date, and she said ‘Yes.’ So, I said how about a movie tonight?”
Later that evening, Dave went to Dot’s home — where things didn’t go as planned.
“I got there later and said, ‘I’m here to pick up Dot,’ and her mom said, ‘She’s not here, but come on in.’”
Thinking he’d “been stood up,” Dave remained at the house anyway, talking with Dot’s mom for about an hour.
And where was Dot?
At home — listening to the conversation from the safety of her room.
“And the more I listened,” Dot says, “the more I thought he’s got to be a pretty good guy to talk with my mom this long.”
Dave left without knowing he’d left a good impression on Dot, who called Dave the following day to apologize. Feeling renewed optimism, Dave asked Dot out again. She said yes, and about a year later, the two 17-year-olds married.
“I found out later after we were married that she had been at home that day,” Dave says, “but we hit it good right off the bat.
Before marrying, Dot dropped out of school to work to help support her family while Dave remained to graduate. During his lunch period, Dave would run the six or so blocks to the Murphy Five & Dime, where Dot toiled, to take her lunch.
“I found out all she’d been having for lunch was a pack of crackers and a Coke and I thought she deserved more,” he said.
After his graduation, the couple married. Dave worked as a carpenter alongside his father. When his parents moved to Kane, in the heart of Pennsylvania’s Allegheny Mountains, Dave and Dot followed — even though that area of the state was economically depressed.
“There wasn’t much work,” Dave says. “And we were poor, so poor we were living in a condemned apartment building, us and another family. They were on the second floor; we were on the first and got our electricity from them.”
In time, though, things began to improve for the Walkers, who had a son a year after their marriage; another child followed.
“I got a good job with a contractor and became a foreman when I was 21,” Dave remembers. “He had an apartment and found out where we were living. He said the first floor was going to become vacant soon and asked if we wanted it.”
The family stayed in Kane until 1953 when Dave‘s work took him to Erie. Two more children arrived, and in 1964 the family moved again — this time to Chapel Hill after Dave became a partner in a development company, which did work all over the country.
That hectic work schedule took its toll on Dave and Dot, however.
“I was working day and night seven days a week,” he says, “and in 1970 had a heart attack.”
That made Dave slow down and change direction. He formed a small company specializing in building custom houses in the Chapel Hill area. It thrived, and when he retired at age 62 — Dot served as secretary and bookkeeper for a time — one of their sons took over the business. Another son remained in Pennsylvania; one daughter moved to Florida to work for Disney, and then Federal Express, but is now back in North Carolina. Dave and Dot built a home next door to their other daughter’s home, but she succumbed to a heart attack in 2010 and her husband died a year later.
“So, the best-laid plans do go astray...” Dave says.
Today, Dot and Dave are still in that house. They deal with aging issues — including Dot’s recent fall, which broke some ribs and resulted in a hospital stay and rehabilitation. But even in the age of COVID, they remain active, including working jigsaw puzzles together.
Through all the years, they say, they’ve had both ups and downs. “We had some difficult times,” Dave says, “starting out in poverty with two children and very little money. Sometimes the grandparents would come to the door and say, ‘We’ve got some food for the dogs but we can’t stay.’ Then we’d take the lid off the pot and there’d be pork chops and potatoes.”
In the 30 years since their retirement, Dot and Dave have filled their lives with many activities.
“We’ve traveled,” he says, “and we both love to fish — she has more patience than I do.”
Fishing trips to nearby lakes led the couple in 1971 to build a house on Hyco Lake, in Person and Caswell counties. They traveled there with friends as often as they could.
“I’d come home from work and Dot would have the car packed and off we’d go,” he said.
He played golf and worked as a Boy Scout leader and they both sang in their church choir. On their golden anniversary, their 50th, they had a big celebration, including renewing their wedding vows.
Their diamond anniversary this year was a more quiet affair.
What have been the keys to those 75 years?
“One thing we’ve always told couples at weddings,” Dave says, “is don’t go to bed mad. No matter how mad you may be, talk it out. If you don’t, it just festers. And honor your spouse — and like them. Don’t just love them but like them. And we like each other.”
He credits their success to Dot.
“She’s so easy-going,” he said. “We’ve gone camping, fishing, traveling, she’s slept on the ground and never complained.
“Sometimes, people have asked us if 17 is too young to marry. It is young but it can be right if you’re mature. It was right for us. Sometimes today, I think, if you wait until you’re in your 30s there’s so much pressure. Each one has habits, their own way and one or the other often has to give up so much it can be hard.”
Starting from scratch, with nothing, Dave said, meant they started together.
“We also try to have fun,” she says, “to laugh a lot.”
And when things get rough?
Talk things out.
“After you talk it out,” Dave says, “then kiss.”
That’s a time-tested formula that still works, he says.
“We kiss and say ‘goodnight’ every night.”