Gentle Reader, the other day I yelled at a co-worker in the middle of our showroom.
I know; it surprised the heck out of me, too.
I have never, in all the co-workers I’ve had, yelled at a colleague in lo, these many centuries I’ve been alive.
Unless it was something like, “Over here, I’m open!” or “Over here, I’ve found your car keys!”
Before I tell you what or why, I’ll tell you how.
This was with a co-worker I’ve never mentioned before to you, Chad.
Chad and I had an encounter that made me angry. I had walked away from it, doing that thing. (You know, that thing where you keep getting angrier, and begin crafting the perfect response, that if you’re like me, takes a couple of minutes after the walking away. In France they do it too, and call it “Staircase wit.”)
So, here’s where the problem starts.
I walked upstairs and then came back down, which took a couple of minutes.
And guess who, just as I polished the last, shade-filled, tea spillin’-ist syllable, did I run into?
And I wound up, and — well, not really yelled, but spoke loudly and firmly, just like you do in your head 10 minutes later — “Why don’t I give you half of my cars this month, so that you don’t have to waste time figuring out how to get them from me?”
It was true, unkind, but devastatingly witty. And it felt just as good as it’s does in your imagination.
Still does, frankly.
And, I think, among my co-workers, it conferred a modest amount upon me something known as “street cred.”
He didn’t look at me or speak to me for a week.
Then he began speaking, but kept his eyes averted.
He has been extreeeeemly polite to me since.
Chad has a friend staying at his place. Turns out she made him a cake. Didn’t seem right to have a piece, since we just had a beef.
People were raving.
I looked at that cake for 11 hours
Gentle Reader, IT. WAS. CAKE. So here it is.
Thanks for your time.
Contact me at email@example.com.
Coffee Cake. Literally.
Chad’s lady friend doubled the frosting, and sprinkled salt with a heavy hand, which was perfect.
Recipe from Ree Drummond
PREP TIME: 15 mins
COOK TIME: 20 mins
TOTAL TIME: 35 mins
FOR THE CAKE
2 c. Flour
2 c. Sugar
1/4 tsp. Salt
2 sticks Butter
3 tbsp. Instant Coffee Crystals
1/2 c. Buttermilk
2 whole Eggs
1 tsp. Baking Soda
2 tsp. Vanilla
FOR THE ICING
1 1/2 Stick Butter
1 lb. Powdered Sugar
2 tbsp. Instant Coffee Crystals
1/4 tsp. Salt
4 tbsp. Heavy Cream
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour two round baking pans.
In a large bowl, mix sugar, flour, and 1/4 teaspoon salt. Set aside.
Melt 2 sticks of butter in a pot over medium-low heat. While that’s melting, add 3 tablespoons instant coffee to 1 cup boiling water. Set aside.
Once butter has melted, add coffee mixture to the butter in the pot. Let it come to a boil for about 10 seconds, then turn off the heat. Set aside for just a minute.
In a separate bowl, add buttermilk, eggs, baking soda, and vanilla. Mix until well combined.
Pour the butter/coffee mixture into the flour mixture. Stir the mixture together gently. The purpose here isn’t to mix it together perfectly, but to cool down the heat before adding the egg mixture.
Add in the egg mixture and stir gently until well combined. Then pour into pans. Bake for 20 to 22 minutes or until set.
Allow to cool completely.
Combine all icing ingredients, then ice the cake. Chill for an hour before serving.
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